They say that the toughest battles creates the strongest soldiers. That the workouts in which you really break down, only make you stronger. That this point is necessary to overcome certain boundaries. And I am not talking about physical boundaries, purely about mental boundaries. That breaking point when you think you can do no more, but you can. I thought I already hit that point before, but I was wrong.
Tuesday’s WOD was brutal. At least, to me it was. It looked easy on paper.. 4 rounds of 10x Snatch, 30 sec. chin over bar hold, 10x Snatch, 60 sec. planking. The Snatch is my least favorite lift because it is so complicated. Whenever the weight goes up, I am too afraid to really dive under the bar and it just becomes a mess. Luckily the Snatch for the WOD was only 25 kilo’s, which is pretty okay. But… it had to be a full Snatch, no muscle Snatch allowed. After the first round of Snatched I already started to feel my shoulder. I didn’t feel like muscle pain, but I also didn’t feel okay. Whenever I start a WOD, giving up is not an option unless I am really messed up. Which I wasn’t.. I was just frustrated about the fact that my stupid shoulder still gave me problems.
Somewhere halfway the WOD I really broke down, with tears and all. I was in a fight with myself between stopping and finishing the WOD. Every second I changed my mind. I decided to just fight through the tears, which were mainly the tears of frustration and not so much the tears of pain. Frustration because I could not do a full snatch anymore because catching the weight caused too much pressure on my shoulders. So I decided to do a muscle snatch, which feels like failing already. Frustration because again I could not give 100%. Frustration because my body and mind were not an the same page once again. Frustration because the snatch is still my weakness. All frustration just released in tears, while I was still fighting to finish the WOD.
Which I did.. but it wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t pretty during and it wasn’t pretty afterwards. But fuck it, I just killed one of my biggest struggles. It is easy to give up and walk away when it gets tough, but finishing makes you feel way better. Even if it hurts, even if you think you can’t do it. Just keep op going, keep on fighting. It will only make you stronger. Physically and mentally. For me, this was mostly a mental-win. Those other breaking point I thought I reached were no where near this one. And it might sound stupid that I didn’t listen to my body, but I could already feel that this wasn’t muscle pain. Yesterday I visited the chiropractor and he told me that my 1e and 2e rib where messed up, causing my shoulder to hurt. He fixed it, so after a couple of days rest I should be fine again. Fingers crossed, because I am soooo ready to give 100% again 😀