From ‘how do I look’, to ‘how did I do’

It is funny how a human brain works. You can be totally convinced of something one day, and completely change your mind about it the next day. Or be stubborn and don’t admit that you changed your mind.. those people also exist :’)

When I started working out, I didn’t know about CrossFit so I just went to a regular gym. I chose to do a traject of 3 months with personal training and coaching, to learn more about technique and food. I did 1 PT every week and I also did GRIT, XCO and every now and then I was just doing fitness. Not often though, I really didn’t like it. So I went to the gym about 5 times a week, and every single time, I cared about how I looked. Not for attention or anything, just for myself and being less insecure.

I was standing in front of the mirror, looking for an outfit that matched completely. After that I put on some mascara, put effort into fixing my hair and every now and then I even took the bottle of perfume out of the closet. I almost feel ashamed writing this.. When I was at the gym, I did work hard. Or at least, I thought I did…then I started CrossFit and realized that only my PT was actually hard work :’). But anyway.. you know all the mirrors in the gym? I hated seeing myself all red and sweaty, it made me feel insecure somehow and it cost me a lot of energy to even think about that while working out. Even then I already realized that it made no sense at all, but I couldn’t change my mindset.

If you still look cute at the end of your workout..you didn’t train hard enough

The first months I did CrossFit, I still had that same mindset. It already really helped me that there were no mirrors, but I still took time to fix myself and to look nice. Over the past few months, that is changing. I started caring less about how I look. I didn’t take the effort anymore to put on mascara and a simple ponytail was good enough. Looking like a complete red headed tomato-like idiot during a workout with my sweaty hair all over the place? Don’t care.. Whenever my t-shirt gets uncomfortable.. I take it off. Even now, being a little bit fat.. I don’t really care so much anymore. Ofcourse I still feel unconfident every now and then, especially about my body, but that’s nothing compared to what I was like. My mindset is changing from ‘how do I look’ to ‘how did I do’ and that feels so much better. And besides.. I really need all my energy to focus on the workout if I want to get better, faster and stronger 😉

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