Sometimes life doesn’t really go they way you have planned it. It happens, it is part of life, but that doesn’t mean it is easy. I can even be really hard to find your way, or to even find yourself again. Life usually isn’t a solid upwards line. It is a journey filled with holes and hills. You will have to climb, you will fall, you will stumble, but as long as you get up, you will get stronger. Even if getting up seems impossible, even when it hurts soooo much.. you will get there. You have to believe and to keep believing though, in order to make this happen.
My life isn’t all sun and smilies now too. To be honest, I think I have never struggles so hard as I do now. I don’t really like to talk about it, I would rather be a strong independent woman who looks like she can conquer the world on her own. But at the moment, I am not. And I am becoming more okay with this, it doesn’t feel like failure anymore every day. Because you know what, once you hit rockbottom, the only way is up right? With all pieces falling apart, I am getting a chance to start over again and built something which truly makes me happy.
In the meantime, CrossFit is my therapy. If it wasn’t for CrossFit, I would probably go crazy. Doing a workout and giving my all is the best way for me to clear my head. To just not think about anything, just me against the timer. I don’t think about struggles while I workout. I don’t feel emotions, I just feel adrenaline rushing through my entire body. I feel power, even when I don’t have much energy. I feel comfort in discomfort and the struggle during a workout makes me forget all the other struggles going on. And even after a workout, my head is empty for a while. Still recovering from the training.. my brain is busy doing something else. And it gives me energy and happiness that I am capable of giving my all. That I am capable of defeating myself. That I am capable of falling down and getting up, over and over again. Yes, CrossFit is my therapy.. and a hell of a good one!
Picture by: Jonathan
Clothes from Northern Spirit